Back To December - Phan Fiction
by DelenaSwan
Summary: Phan fiction based on songs by Taylor Swift including Mine, 22, Everything Has Changed, thank you all for reading this, it means a lot to me, feel free to leave a review :)
1. Chapter 1 - Back to December

Phan Fic-

Based on the song "Back to December" by Taylor Swift

Phil sat alone in the house, again. It was cold for March and he had on two jumpers over his t-shirt. He sat watching the clock, the hands ticked slowly and quietly in the silent house. He was on the sofa , hugging his legs. The house felt empty without Dan. It had been 3 months and Phil still felt cold. He slowly got up and began to run a bath to try and warm himself up. He sat at the side of the bath as the water filled up the empty tub. Phil wished he could be filled up with water like that, something to just fill the emptiness inside him. It was irrational, he thought, seeing as how he had caused this all himself to feel like that. Yet it was all still there and as he changed out of his clothes and climbed into the bath, he just felt the emptiness go in with him.

As the water eventually turned cold Phil climbed out of the bath, wrapped a towel around himself and walked along the hall. The pain still hit him every time he walked past Dan's room and he hurried along to his own room. After changing into dry clothes he decided that he may as well eat something, it had been a while since his last meal. The fridge was almost empty with only a few basic items in there. He would need to go Tesco or something soon to stock up but he needed something to motivate him to go. His "meal" ended up being a limp ham sandwhich and a packet of crisps and some water. Slowly he cleaned up the remains of the food and then went into the living room again and started up his laptop. With a quick pang of guilt he realised that he hadn't put on a new video in a long time and rather than make other people feel miserable he decided to film a really quick one. He ran to his room, avoiding looking at Dan's and started up the camera quickly. He sat down in front of the camera and then it hit him. What was he going to say? He sat there for more than an hour trying to think of something interesting to say, anything to say without him heading towards some breakdown. They didn't know, any of them. They saw them both on the radio show and yet did not know a thing. They probably suspected something but didn't know the whole story. He contemplated telling the story for his video but instead settled on a quick video, filled with "I've been really busy"'s and "There will be something new soon"s. He used to try and edit as quickly as possible yet now he never felt that way anymore. He had to carry on and slowly he edited the video and ended uploading it at 3 am. He knew that some of his subscribers were not awake yet and would be sad at missing the upload of a new video. He knew that some of them would be disappointed in the video, he knew that some of them would want some hilarious adventure of his. Yet he almost didn't care, he just wanted the video up and then he would start to reply to the comments the next day. Right then he wanted his bed, even if he didn't sleep.

He changed into his pajamas, checked that the front door was locked and climbed upstairs to bed. He ignored Dan's door and went into his own room. He flicked off the bedroom light and climbed into bed. He pulled the duvet around him and waited for sleep. It wouldn't come as usual. He hadn't slept properly for days, some nights it would be almost 7 before he finally fell into some form of sleep, other nights he wouldn't sleep at all. Every night was the same though. He would shut his eyes and the same scene hit him over and over again. 16th December last year. Some nights he would cry along with it, he often woke up to find out that it was playing in his dreams and then he remembered that it was real. That night was the same as others. He didn't sleep at all and knew that it would show that day. He looked at his phone at 9am and the phone flashed to show that it was radio day. His heart was torn, he would get to see Dan. Part of him was desperate to see him again, to make it right. The other part of him was scared in case he said no. Phil was stuck in the middle and as he lay there he didn't know what he was going to do. He couldn't pretend to be sick again and part of him still didn't want to let his fans down.

He got dressed and decided that he may as well have breakfast. There were a few hours before the radio show and the planning was already done, he just had to show up and say the lines, answer the calls. Then he could come home again. The rest of his day was spent wandering round the apartment, cleaning the most random things to keep his mind occupied. When he looked at the clock again, he saw he had time for a quick dinner. He would have to go to Tesco the next day, all he was able to find for dinner was some soup that Dan had left and the last slice of bread. After he washed it down with some tap water and left the washing up for when he came home. Quickly he pulled on a coat and called a taxi. Whilst he waited, Phil made sure he had all he needed: phone, keys, wallet. Outside the taxi's horn sounded and Phil left the house, trying to ready himself for the next few hours.

It didn't take long for him to reach the radio studio and as Phil paid the taxi driver, part of him wondered if Dan was already there. Making his way to the radio studio, he checked his twitter as he walked. Plenty of encouraging tweets filled his mentions and he replied to a couple of them before he reached the studio. He had to wait in the prep area for about half an hour before he and Dan would set up the studio for themselves. In the meantime Phil grabbed himself some coffee from the canteen and sat stirring it the sugar slowly as he thought. He smiled as some memories started to creep back into his mind, occasionally he let them back in to give him a sort of boost for the radio show. He remembered last summer, the last good one. He'd been pretty lousy towards Dan at first. He'd gone back to Manchester in June to see some of his old friends and whilst he was distracted he had managed to forget Dan's birthday. Phil hadn't bought him a card or even called him. When he returned to London two days later he apologised many times to Dan, even though Dan said it was okay, Phil tried to make it up to him the rest of that summer. He helped pay for Dan to pay the last bit of money he needed to buy a car and went with Dan as he drove it for the first time. Phil remembered sitting in the passenger seat laughing as Dan got used to the new car, he remembered Dan trying to turn on the indicator and instead he managed to turn on the radio to play at full blast, earning a glare from all the other drivers. He remembered the last good month, October, when they had gone into town and Dan sat opposite him in Starbucks and from nowhere he managed to produce two roses. Phil remembered how good they had smelled and placed them in his bag, promising to look after them. He put them in a little glass vase by his bed and forgot to water them and eventually they started to die. Phil remembered the less happy times. 16th September. When he had been told that a close relative was dangerously ill and Dan held Phil in his arms all night as he cried. In the end, they turned out to be okay yet Phil felt grateful that Dan had been there for him.

As it got to the time that could make or break his heart, Phil went for his last trip to the bathroom. He looked into the bathroom mirror and saw the dark patches under his eyes from the lack of sleep, he tried to smile as he left the bathroom. Like he was on some auto-pilot, he made his way to the studio and with a mixture of relief and sadness he saw that there was only a few people there and Dan wasn't one of them. Phil greeted the people there, saying "hi"s and waving to people in the actual studio he would soon be in. One of the producers checked with him that he was ready and Phil assured him that he was. As it got to 6:45pm, Phil moved into the studio and started to set up. After 5 minutes one of the producers asked him where Dan was. Phil paused before answering that he didn't know. He had forgotten that they still assumed that him and Dan were still living together. Phil turned back to putting up pictures and as he was sending a tweet to remind everyone about the show, the studio door opened. In came Dan, he looked out of breath and it became obvious that he had run part of the way there. He apologised, saying that his taxi had broken down and that he had to run the rest of the way. He avoided looking at Phil as he hurriedly set up. He sent his reminding tweet in the last few seconds before they went live. Phil tried to avoid looking at him back but when the time came for them to be shown on camera, he had to look at him. The radio show was the only time now that they spoke face to face, they planned the radio show briefly on the phone or by email. When Phil looked at Dan, he only had brief chances to look at him. Their eyes only met once and they made conversation quick and Phil wondered if Dan was trying like him not to start crying or something. When the first fan made video came on, Dan moved away to check on something on the other side of the room. Phil looked at him properly then. Dan seemed a little paler, his hair wasn't quite right, his clothes barely matched. Phil couldn't work out how Dan felt inside though and it was time for them to talk to the callers.

The radio show moved on like the others had this year, quickly and painfully. He interacted with Dan with little eye contact between them, even during the Dan vs Phil. Dan didn't seem to be as into it as he used to. Soon it was time for the last request and Phil felt the same mixture of relief and sadness. He wouldn't see Dan again for another week, he wanted to see him and yet he knew he would feel the pain again if he did. Phil shook away the feelings and got ready for the last caller. He made his way through usual "hi" and asked her what she had been doing that day. Then he asked her for the request. She asked for "Back to December" by Taylor Swift and hung up before he could ask who she wanted to dedicate it to. As the song started to play in the studio, Phil listened to the song. He'd never heard it before and listened to the lyrics. Strangely they started to fit in his situation. He looked at Dan as the chorus started and remembered their last December, the day that had haunted him for months. 16th December.

It had started in November, to be exact. They had just come back from the radio station and Phil had turned on his laptop. He had turned onto twitter and was scrolling through all the tweets. He sometimes looked at other tweets to do with the radio show from people he didn't follow. Screenshots that people had edited of the two of them, the reaction tweets. There were thousand of "Phan" related ones, he merely had to type in the word in the twitter search bar and there would be even more. Little did they know, that "Phan", was actually real. Or rather it was on its way to being. Him and Dan had sort of been together in a "Phan" way for a few months, around the time of Phil's birthday. It had been an accident. They had been trying to rearrange the furniture, the two of them were trying to get the coffee table into the right place and Dan kept trying to tell Phil how to move it . Just as they were about to get it into the right place, Phil tripped over the corner of the rug and fell forwards on top of Dan. Their lips briefly touched in the fall and they both looked at each other. Dan smiled nervously at Phil and reached up to give Phil a proper kiss. It lasted for a moment before they pulled away and finally moved the coffee table. The quick kisses kept happening for a month, neither of them seemed to plan them, they just seemed to happen. Over the summer it started to build up more and by the beginning of August, whilst they watched a film, Phil reached out and held Dan's hand. Dan didn't let it go until the end. In September, as they watched the new episodes of Doctor Who , Dan looked over at Phil and touched his cheek. Phil held Dan's hand there with one hand and pulled him over with the other. Phil pulled Dan on top of him and started to kiss him as the Doctor ran around on the screen. Later that month, one night, as Phil was half asleep, he heard his door open. Dan crept into the room and Phil felt Dan lift the covers and climb into the bed next to him. Phil fell asleep and woke to find Dan's arm over his waist. He lay there as he waited for Dan to wake up. They carried on like that until October, with Dan creeping into Phil's bed each night. Phil decided that he wanted to go to bed with Dan properly, no more sneaking around. So when it was time for bed, rather than let Dan go off to his own room and wait for Phil to get into bed, Phil took Dan's hand and led him into the bedroom. They both got into bed and fell asleep with their arms around each other.

So when Phil was searching through the tweets from the radio show he came across one that changed his mind. It was talking about the two of them and the future. Fear slowly started to creep into his mind from that moment on. What sort of future did he and Dan have? Could they have a future together in this way? They hadn't told anyone about what was going on between them, not even their parents. It had just been building up to what they had. It was starting to be a relationship of some sort but Phil didn't know if it was heading anywhere. He loved waking up next to Dan, watching the winter sunlight shine on his tanned skin in the mornings, his sweet smile when he woke up to see Phil next to him. As the month wore on, Phil became more and more fearful about the future. He couldn't keep up what he had with Dan if there was no future for them, it wasn't fair on either of them them. By the time December came, Phil had made up his mind. On their last night together he kissed Dan harder than before, knowing it would be the last time. So on 16th December, Phil took Dan out for dinner. Dan seemed so happy throughout the meal and when it was time to go, Phil suggested that they walk home. They were outside the house when Phil took Dan's hand to stop him. He took both of Dan's hands in his own and looked at him in the eyes and that was when he said the goodbye that would end it all and give them both the freedom that Phil thought they needed. Dan turned away from Phil and ran into the house. He came out moments later with a packed bag, ignoring Phil as he climbed into his car, Phil could see him crying from the door step.

Phil left the memory behind as he listened to the song playing in the studio again. He didn't want the people watching the radio show to see how sad he was. They saw him as happy and he only had to pretend to be that way for a few minutes more. The song ended and it was back to him and Dan. Together they finished up the show, with a quick goodbye and promises for a good show the following week. Then the producers gave the signal that the cameras had turned off as the last song played. Phil started to collect his things and as he did , he started to think. The past few months had taught him that the "freedom" had taught him nothing, he missed Dan. He missed his best friend. He had to sort it out. Dan was quickly collecting his things, his desperation to get away was visible. Phil knew this would be his last chance, if he left it another week he might change his mind. He grabbed his jacket as Dan left the studio and shoved his phone into his pocket. He yanked on his jacket as he hurried after Dan. Dan was almost at the end of the corridor. Phil knew he had to do it, he called out Dan's name. Dan stopped at the end of corridor, his phone in his hand, calling for a taxi to get him away, still facing away from Phil. Phil walked towards him slowly as he turned around. Stopping at about 2 feet away from Dan, Phil held his hands out. He looked Dan straight in the eye as he said,

"Dan, I'm sorry for that night."

Dan looked Phil in the eyes as he said,

"Phil, I-"


	2. Chapter 2 - Mine

Phan Fic-

Based on the song "Mine" By Taylor Swift

Dan knew he had to get away from there, away from Phil. He couldn't look at him properly, he would cry and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He felt like Phil almost didn't care about him anymore, they just had a professional relationship now. So when Phil called out his name, Dan stopped. What did Phil want? Part of him wanted to carry on walking out of the building. However something in Phil's voice made him stop. He sounded almost desperate. So Dan turned around to face Phil properly for the first time since that last night. Phil was walking towards him and as Phil got closer, Dan slipped his phone back into his pocket. Phil stopped less than a metre away from him and raised his hands slowly as an obvious peace offering. Phil looked Dan straight in the eyes and said,

"Dan, I'm sorry for that night."

Dan was stunned, what was he supposed to say to that? He was confused as to where Phil was heading with this. One look into Phil's eyes told him. Dan thought for a moment about what he was going to say and started,

"Phil, I-"

Before he could carry on with his original answer, he started to think. Did he want to say good bye to Phil? Tell him to leave him alone? Tell him that he wanted him back? So before he gave his answer he went back to the moment they met and let the memories take him over for a moment.

They had met back when Phil had still been at University. He had taken a part time job as a waiter in a restaurant in the centre of York. Dan was on holiday at the time with his friends and they had been looking for somewhere to eat when Dan spotted the restaurant. He and his friends found a table by the window and started to look over the menus. Phil only had another half an hour left of his shift and was looking forward to going back to his room, back to the internet for a few hours. Dan looked over the menu and after a few moments the waiter came over. Dan didn't pay much attention to him until he was asked for his order. Then he looked up at Phil and was a little stunned by what he saw, a man, a few years older than him, with a similar haircut and shining blue eyes. Dan stuttered a bit when he gave his order to Phil and when Phil left to prepare their drinks, Dan found himself looking back at Phil many times. He didn't know why, he just felt something strange when he looked at Phil. He had never felt it before and he found himself strangely liking it. As he and his friends at their meal, Dan tried to only look at Phil as little as possible, he didn't want to look like some crazy person. Yet once he swore that he caught Phil looking at him. When they were finished, Dan's friends got ready to leave and they all put money into paying the bill. Dan said that he would give the money and catch them up. So when Phil came over to clear the plates and glasses, Dan gave him the money and a tip. Phil took the tip and smiled. Dan smiled back and something inside him warmed. So based on some inner instinct, he introduced himself to Phil and Phil supervised him by asking him if he was busy later.

After weeks of calling, texting and emails, they decided to meet up again, this time in Manchester for the day. Dan got up early and caught one of the first trains there so he wouldn't be late. He sat in Starbucks and waited for Phil to arrive. After Dan's second drink, Phil arrived and the two of them spent the day in Manchester. They wandered around some of the shops, visiting the Printworks before going to dinner. They went to an Italian that Phil knew and the two of them talked for a long time. Phil told Dan all about his YouTube channel and what he planned to do with it. Dan admitted that he too had thought about making videos and Phil encouraged him, promising to help him set it up. The time came for Dan to get the train home and Phil waved him off from the train platform before going to get his own train back to Uni. Dan had enjoyed his day with Phil, a lot. He wanted to do it again soon.

They continued to meet up when they could and Phil kept giving him tips on setting up his YouTube, helping him to plan what he wanted to do. He taught him what to do if someone said something he didn't like and how to avoid problems such as copyright. Dan learned a lot from Phil over the summer and after one last call to Phil, he filmed his first video. Dan was glad that he had listened to Phil and as the views increased, he felt happier more than ever about meeting Phil. As the months carried on and he carried on making new videos, Dan heard from Phil more than ever. They did some collaboration videos of the two of them and they seemed to do really well. Dan had found something he enjoyed doing and was grateful to Phil for showing him what to do, even though Phil said that he would have found his way there on his own in the end.

Time started to fly by and the time came for Dan to consider going to University. He did want to go and when he had to choose which one he wanted to go to, he ended up choosing Manchester. He liked Manchester, it was a great place and he would be able to see more of Phil than before. So he filled out the application and what felt like a very long wait, he found out that he had got in. Dan called Phil to tell him the news, Phil was delighted and looked forward to see more of Dan too. As the time came for Dan to get ready to move to Uni, Phil offered to help him out. He showed him round Manchester a bit more than before, telling Dan the best places to go. They often ended up going back to Phil's apartment and there they made more videos than they had ever before. When Dan moved into his halls of residence, he invited Phil over to see his "prison cell" and Phil helped him to make it look a little less bare.

Moving to Manchester was one of the best decisions Dan felt that he had ever made and when the time came for them to leave and move to London, he felt like he would miss it. The first few months in London had been strange, getting used to a new city but he felt with Phil being there, it was a lot easier than if he had been on his own. When the offer for the two of them to do a radio show on BBC Radio 1 came up, Dan felt like he couldn't do it without Phil and so they both signed up for it. Even though he had his best friend with him, he still felt nervous when it was the day of the first radio show and he hoped it wouldn't show on camera. As the weeks carried on he started to feel more confident and when he hit 1 million subscribers he felt like he couldn't be happier.

It happened in February the next year, a week or so before Valentines' day. They had decided to rearrange the furniture in the living room and had almost finished. There was just the coffee table to go and as Dan felt like he knew exactly where it should go, he directed Phil in the moving. It was almost in the right place when Phil seemed to trip and the next thing he knew was that Phil was on top of him. Their lips grazed on impact and Dan felt that something inside him stir and he smiled nervously before giving Phil a real kiss. He had wanted to do that for a while and somehow it felt just right. The kisses seemed to happen for the rest of the month, not all of them intiated by Dan. When they watched Doctor Who that September and Phil pulled Dan over for a kiss, afterwards they lay there on the couch, Dan started to see it. The two of them together. As the month carried on, Dan was asleep one night when he had a nightmare. It was one of those distorted ones, where nothing makes sense and leaves you on edge. He woke up scared and in that moment the only person he wanted was Phil. He quietly opened Phil's door and as he climbed into bed next to him, feeling the fear leave him as he put an arm around Phil. He woke up to see Phil looking at him, he wasn't shocked or horrified, he just smiled that adorable smile of his.

Dan carried on creeping into Phil's bed each night, neither of them said anything about it, it just started to become a routine for the two of them. It was until mid-October when Phil said that he was going to bed that he took Dan's hand and led him to bed that Dan did stop creeping into Phil's bed, they went together. The next evening, after going out for dinner, they walked along the Thames. They watched the city lights dance on the water, London moving along the river. When Phil put his arm around Dan, Dan started to believe harder than ever that the two of them could have a future like this. He had changed since he had met Phil, he teased him by saying that he had made a rebel of him. He had changed for the better though and was grateful to Phil for that.

As time carried on towards the end of the year, Dan noticed a change in Phil. He didn't seem right. It wasn't until Dan asked him outright if there was something wrong that Phil would cheer up. Other times he seemed fine. One morning Dan remembered waking up and watched Phil think before saying anything, he seemed to be thinking about something hard, his face almost screwed up as he concentrated. As December came round and it was time to plan the Christmas special of the radio show, Dan really started to worry about Phil. He seemed withdrawn and it was obvious that he was trying too hard to seem happy. He seemed to perk up half way through the month, one night Dan remembered Phil kissing him harder than before and Dan hoped that whatever had been bothering Phil had gone. Then on 16th December , it all changed. They had had such a good night and when Phil proposed that they walk home, Dan felt happy enough that he was willing to walk and it took a lot for Dan to walk voluntarily for more than 5 minutes. Dan looked at his phone as they got closer to the house, it was 2:30 am and he was ready to sleep. As he moved to the front of the house, he felt Phil take his hand and stopped him. That was when Phil gave him the goodbye. He promised that it was better for them both. Dan felt numb and then something inside of him made him want to move, get away from what was hurting him. So he pushed past Phil and ran into the house. He ran to his room and grabbed a bag. He threw clothes and other items he needed before running downstairs to get his laptop. He didn't know if he was going to come back so he grabbed a few other things on the way. He grabbed his car keys on the way and opened the door. He could already feel the tears forming, he pushed past Phil and climbed into his car before driving off. He didn't look back.

He didn't talk to Phil for days. He stayed with different friends for the next few months. When they asked him why he wasn't with Phil, he replied that he and Phil needed space. Dan didn't know what he was going to do. He had no where permanent to live, he had lost his best friend and felt lost. He kept doing the radio show. It helped him pass the time. It was the only time that he ever talked to Phil. They planned it together, even if they didn't see each other face to face when they did. Dan hated to go into the studio and see Phil. He wanted to see him and yet he didn't want to see him. When they did Dan vs Phil, Dan didn't know why he was doing it any more. Part of him didn't want to fight Phil in any way, he wanted to run to him. Yet another part of him wanted to scream at him and ask him "why?". Sometimes he wanted to call Phil and talk, he almost did many times and then remembered that Phil wanted to be free so he put the phone down and went back to trying to carry on.

So when it was time for the last radio show of March, Dan called a taxi and was on his way to the radio station when it broke down. They were about 10 minutes away from the studio and when Dan looked at his phone he could see that he was going to be really late. He would have to run the rest of the way there. Dan ran as fast as he could and by the time he reached the studio door, he really out of breath. He hadn't been running in a while and hadn't seen his personal trainer for months. When he pushed the door open, the first thing he saw was Phil looking at him. Looking away as fast as he could, he quickly apologised to the producers and started to get ready. He knew that Phil was looking at him and Dan did his best to ignore him until it was time for the cameras to go on.

The radio show flowed as it normally did, slowly for Dan. When it was time for Dan vs Phil, he tried to be interested and somehow managed to win. He just waited until it was time for him to leave. He needed to get away from there. When it was time for the last request he knew that it meant there wasn't long to go. The caller was a girl, she asked for "Back to December" by Taylor Swift. It was the second Taylor Swift request of the night, the first had been for "Mine". As Dan walked around the studio, getting ready to leave, he looked over a Phil. he seemed to be in a trance and Dan wondered if he was listening to the song. The song ended and the two of them said their goodbyes to the cameras and the producers gave the signal that the cameras were off and that they could leave. Dan grabbed his jacket and his phone and got ready to leave. He rushed towards the door and got his phone ready to call a taxi...

Dan thought about it all and realised how happier he had been with Phil in his life. When he looked into Phil's eyes, he saw a reflection of what he had been feeling the past few months. He decided on a different sentence, he looked into Phil's eyes and started again.

"Phil, I know."

He took Phil's wrist and lead him down the corridor. He pulled him through the radio 1 building and out the back door. He called for a cab and then turned to face Phil. Before he could say anything Phil stopped him.

"Dan, I'm sorry. I should never have let you go. I admit it, I got scared. I just thought that there was no chance for you and me to have a future, a normal one. I wasn't sure how I felt then but I am now. Dan, I love you and I'm sorry."

Dan looked at Phil and thought about what Phil had just said. He thought he had loved Phil but he himself hadn't been sure. The past few months had taught him how he felt about him, he couldn't live without Phil either. But he didn't want to be hurt again if Phil got scared again. Only time would tell and Dan let all the loneliness he had felt those past few months pour into the hug he gave Phil. He had missed holding his friend like this. Phil leaned into Dan's ear and whispered.

"You are the best thing that's ever been mine".

Dan smiled and whispered into Phil's ear before climbing into the taxi,

"I'll never leave you alone."


	3. Chapter 3- Sparks Fly

Based on the song "Sparks Fly" by Taylor Swift.

"I'll never leave you alone."

The two of them climbed into the taxi as it started to rain. Phil gave the address to the driver and then leaned back to take Dan's hand. Dan leaned in closer to Phil and whispered to him a question. Phil laughed and the taxi driver looked in the mirror at the two of them. Dan just smiled and they continued to whisper for the rest of the ride home.

The taxi driver dropped them off near to the house. It was already pouring with rain , the dark sky covered with clouds and only a handful of stars of could be seen. Phil helped Dan out of the taxi before paying the fare. Once the taxi swung round the corner of the road by their house, Dan reached out and grabbed Phil's hand. Even though the rain poured down around them, Dan knew what he wanted and pulled Phil in to give him another kiss, much deeper than what he had by the radio station. When it ended, they put their heads together and regardless of the cold rain they stood there for another few minutes on the pavement. Dan whispered to Phil,

"C'mon, let's go inside."

He led Phil by the hand into the house and used his own key to get inside. He wasn't suprised that Phil had not changed the house at all and guessed that his room was pretty much the same. The house felt a little cold and the lights in the hallway seemed to be dimmer. So when Dan turned to look at Phil his eyes looked green, though that was not the only thing he saw when he looked in Phil's eyes. Phil smiled and took Dan's hands, leading him up the stairs. As he went, he turned the lights down. Dan followed him, knowing that there was no going back now. Phil looked at him again at the top of the stairs and when he smiled, Dan felt like there were sparks flying between the two of them.

They entered Phil's room, Dan picked up a towel and started to dry his hair. Phil sat waiting on the bed and when Dan went to join him he just shook his hair, covering Dan in water droplets, yet in that moment he didn't mind. He just slipped his arm around Phil, wanting to be close to him as possible, letting all the loneliness evaporate with the rain drops. He leaned in and whispered to Phil,

"So, do you think we have a future?"

Phil paused before answering with a promising smile,

"Yes, and I know how I want to start it."

Dan felt Phil loosen his arm around him as he moved on top of him. Dan leaned up and kissed Phil , staring into his eyes that in that moment looked almost green. The only sounds he could hear were the heavy rain outside and their breathing. He ran his fingers through Phil's hair, as Phil whispered softly and slowly into his ears. Phil reached for the top of Dan's shirt and undid the first few buttons. Their clothes were soaked through and between them they quickly removed them before climbing under the duvet. Phil held both of Dan's hand in his own and asked him,

"You sure you want do this?"

Dan knew he didn't have to think twice, he wanted no one other than Phil, so he looked without blinking into Phil's eyes when he replied,

"Yes, because I love you, Phil."

Phil smiled back when he said,

"I love me too."

Dan laughed and punched him jokingly in the arm before moving in for the first of many kisses and more.

The next morning Dan woke up before Phil , who was still asleep under Dan's arm. He knew there and then that he had made the right decision. He was captivated in a way by Phil, when he was near, he took away the pain that Dan had felt the past few months. In those past months he would often call out to show Phil something to remember that he wasn't there, he had joked to Phil in the night that he had been haunted by him. He couldn't get enough of Phil and if he didn't look so peaceful sleeping next to Dan at the moment, Dan would of been tempted to wake him. The night before had been more than either of them had imagined it could be and that made Dan surer than ever that he should be with Phil, no matter how wrong Phil had once thought it could be, to take away one future from Dan, Dan had found a better one.

Soon Phil's eyelids started to flutter as he woke and Dan pressed his lips against his to wake him up fully. Phil smiled and Dan felt those little sparks fly again. He leaned over to Phil's ear, smiling and said,

"After that I am definitely not leaving you alone."


	4. Chapter 4 - Ours

Phan Fic-

Based on "Ours" By Taylor Swift

"After that I am definitely not leaving you alone."

A few hours later the two of them got up when Dan complained that he was hungry. Some things never change, thought Phil, as he went into the kitchen. Dan had gone to get some clothes from his room, Phil hadn't moved anything since December , it would have felt wrong somehow. It wasn't until he actually opened the fridge door that Phil remembered how little they had to eat. There wasn't enough to make a snack for one person, let alone two people. They would have to go Tesco, get some of the basics and then have the deliveries start again. Phil stood at the bottom of the stairs and shouted to Dan that they needed to to go Tesco. Phil went to his room and got dressed quickly, grabbing his wallet as he left. Dan was still in his room sorting through clothes, pretending to wipe away dust from the furniture. Phil rolled his eyes and motioned for him to come downstairs. Dan smiled and grabbed his wallet before following Phil downstairs. Phil was about to suggest that they get a taxi straight there when Dan remembered that he still had his car, though it was still at his friends. His bag with his things was also still there that he had taken with him in December. Whilst Phil called a taxi, Dan went into the kitchen to work out what they needed to get. He was suprised by the lack of food in the kitchen. Not a Malteaser in sight. He made a quick list on his phone before going to climb in the taxi with Phil.

It wasn't a long journey to his friend's house. Dan used his key and snuck in to collect his bag, whilst Phil waited outside in the car. Phil was happier than even ever about his decision and somehow Dan collecting his car to bring back home made Phil feel like it was for real. When he had woken that morning he wasn't sure if the previous night had been a dream and when he woke up to Dan, he felt happy again. The previous morning he had woken with dread and loneliness, now he felt almost buoyant. Dan emerged from the house after a few minutes. He was carrying a few more things than he had left with and he shoved them in the back seat. Phil checked his phone as Dan climbed into the driver's seat and started the car. Phil checked Twitter, people were still worried about him and he sent out some reassuring tweets to his followers. He noticed that Dan hadn't been on twitter much and Phil wondered how many videos he had been making. He hoped that he hadn't stopped him doing what he enjoyed.

Dan's driving was a bit erratic and Phil asked him when was the last time had driven the car. Dan laughed and hinted at a long time ago, leaving Phil to think if he meant that last night in December. After a few almost accidents, they arrived at Tesco and Phil looked around for a parking spot. He eventually found one near the entrance to the store, which suited them perfectly as they would have less distance to carry the heavy bags back. Dan got out of the car and helped Phil out. Phil took Dan's hand in his own and the two of them walked into Tesco looking like any other couple. They ignored the stares and shocked looks, they didn't care about what people they didn't know thought. They cared about each other more and Phil was determined to not lose Dan again.

Phil decided to push the trolley and leave it to Dan to find the aisles they needed. They ended up spending quite a long amount of time in the entertainment section and by the time they started shopping for the food, many items were gone. They bought essentials: bread, milk, chocolate, crisps. Just before they went to pay, they ended up wandering back to the games section and bought one to play that night. They left Tesco quite late, it was starting to get dark and quite cold so they were glad of the short walk to the car. They hadn't gotten everything, they had set up for a delivery to come some time that week. They filled the boot of the car with the food before climbing into the warmth of the car and driving back home.

Between them, they carried the shopping back into the house. Phil laughed as Dan tried to turn on the hall lights with his nose as he carried several of the bags. Soon the fridge was filled again and Dan checked out the instructions for the game whilst Phil started to prepare dinner, he could see this starting to become a routine. After dinner they settled down in the living room to start the game. Several hours later when they were both too tired to carry on, they sleepily climbed the stairs to bed. The two of them more or less fell onto Phil's bed , their arms draped loosely around each other. They talked and kissed a few times before they fell asleep. Just as Phil was about to, Dan whispered something to him that sounded like song lyrics though he did not know where they were from,

"So don't you worry your pretty little mind

People throw rocks at things that shine

And life makes love look hard

The stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours"

Phil was asleep before he got chance to ask Dan where he got the song from but instead realised how true they were and he was finally able to stop worrying about their future from that point.

It was almost afternoon when they woke up and after a morning kiss they stumbled downstairs for a late breakfast. The two of them had their laptops running and Phil was checking Twitter when he realised something. When were they going to tell people? Should they tell people? How were they going to tell people? Phil decided that he would ask what Dan thought before he did anything.

"Dan?"

"Yes?" he asked, looking up from what he was doing.

"What are we going to do? About telling people?" Phil asked nervously.

Dan stopped what he was doing and thought for a moment. Then he smiled knowingly and looked back at Phil.

"We're going to tell them in the way we tell them everything else. Through the internet."


	5. Chapter 5 - Fearless

Phan Fic-

Based on "Fearless" By Taylor Swift

"We're going to tell them in the way we tell them everything else. Through the internet."

Dan watched Phil think over the idea and after a couple of minutes he nodded in agreement. It was a more logical way of telling people , they could tell them in their own way and it was much better that they told everyone themselves rather than some poor quality photo be taken of them together by some stalker. Dan knew that they should tell their parents first though and when he told Phil that he was going to call his parents and tell them, Phil said that he would sit with him whilst he did it. Dan felt almost fearless with Phil by his side and knew that he had made the right choice.

The phone call lasted 10 minutes and his parents were happy for him, they had noticed how sad he had been and were glad that he had sorted it all out with Phil and hoped to see the two of them soon. After Dan hung up he gave Phil a relieved hug before it was Phil's turn. Dan sat and waited next to Phil, not letting go of his hand, throughout the call. Phil's parents thought the same as Dan's hand and were happy for the two of them. Once Phil finished his call, the two of them breathed a sigh of relief that they had done one of the scariest things ever. Now they had another one of them: telling the internet. Dan knew that most of their fans would support the two of them, there was always going to be people who didn't. They spent an hour or so working out the idea of what they would do and by the time they were done finalising their ideas, Dan felt pleased. It was the right way to tell them. The internet had been where it had all started for the two of them and it was thing that had brought them both together as friends so it felt strangely right that it should bring them together in this way and they felt like they should tell people in that way. However Dan wasn't sure that he wanted to do it just yet. He wanted one last night where it was the two of them who knew and not the entire world.

So as Phil got up to go get the camera, Dan pulled him back down to stop him. Phil looked at him quizzically , his eyebrows raised. Dan just took Phil's hand and stood in front of him.

"I have a better idea."

Dan pulled Phil into the hallway and grabbed his coat. Phil grabbed his too and Dan knew he was still confused but it would become clear soon. Dan checked that he had his car keys before they left and led Phil by the hand to the car. He opened the car door for Phil with a smile and then got into the driver's seat. He didn't say a word about where they were going, he just smiled at Phil's wrong guesses. After a short while Dan saw what he was looking for. He stopped the car in the middle of a car park near where they were going to be heading. Dan undid his seatbelt and watched the confusion grow on Phil's face, it was adorable and Dan almost burst into laughter because of it. He opened Phil's door and said,

"C'mon."

Dan locked the car and took Phil's hand as they started walking. It was a cloudy night again, stars were barely visible amongst the dark wisps. Dan knew that his face had some knowing smile on it but he managed to stay silent on the way there. Soon enough for Phil's growing impatience, Dan found the spot. It was the place by the river Thames that they had gone to the night after they had gone to bed together the year before. The cities reflection on the river had barely changed compared to the two of them. It was quiet there, no one else around for what felt like miles. It was their own little place in a way after only two visits. Dan watched as Phil began to recognise the place. It was a happy one for them. They stood in silence for a few minutes, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Phil was the first to speak,

"So, why did you bring me here?"

Dan smiled and waited a minute before answering, he knew what he wanted to say and it sounded right in his head but he wasn't sure how it would sound out loud,

"I wanted to take you somewhere , this was the first place I could. Somewhere that..I don't know...felt like ours, you know? Somewhere that all those people who watch us on the internet everyday don't know about. Somewhere just for you and me."

Phil smiled and took Dan's hands before leaning in for a kiss. When they pulled apart, Phil looked into Dan's eyes before leaning up to his ear and whispering,

"Thank you."

They stood there for several minutes and just talked like they always had. They laughed and joked, they pretended to push each other in the river and collapsed onto the floor into a giggling heap. Dan was glad that he had taken Phil there and hoped to return again. He wished there was a way the could capture the scene fully and made sure that he would always remember it for when they were both old. Over their heads was the sound of thunder rumbling and Dan knew they would have to leave , it was likely to be a storm and he didn't think either of them would want a cold right now. So he and Phil helped each other off the floor and held hands once more and walked back to the car. However before they managed to reach the car door, it started to rain and just as the car was in sight, the storm had already begun. The rain was still light though Dan wanted to get back to the dry car. But Phil had other ideas. He stopped Dan, making it his turn to be confused. Phil just leaned in and whispered,

"You always see it in movies, I want to see if it's as good as it looks."

He took Dan's other hands and pulled him in for a dance. Dan had never danced with anyone in the rain before and part of his mind thought that Phil had gone crazy. Yet after a minute it he found himself enjoying it strangely and he even smiled as they danced round the car park. They stopped when the rain went from light to heavy quickly and before they ran to the car, they had one last kiss and Dan felt that almost fearless feeling come back. He quickly started the car and regardless of his clothes being damp, he still felt happy. Phil laughed to himself and when Dan started to drive back onto the road, he looked at Phil for an explanation. Phil smiled and replied,

"I think the two of us attract the rain. I remember what happened the last time we did that."

They got home quickly and Dan looked forward to the promise of dry towels and a warm house. When he pulled in front of the house, Phil took him by suprise and got out to open Dan's door for him. Phil offered his hand to Dan and helped him out the car, Dan felt like he was being pulled head first into the ocean as the rain was so heavy. They ran for the shelter of the doorway and somehow they ended up kissing again. Something about Phil made Dan feel fearless, as if the rain couldn't touch him, as if he almost couldn't be hurt. But the tempting warmth of the hose pulled them apart and soon they were sat again in front of the TV in dry pajamas with food. They started to play the game again but the thought of bed lured them away. Dan was still a little cold so he moved closer to Phil to keep warm and the two of them fell asleep to the sound of the rain.

When Dan woke up he knew that they were going to tell everyone today. He looked over at Phil who was just waking up and decided to suprise him by making coffee. He slipped out of bed and went into the kitchen, checking his phone as he set the kettle to boil. He decided to tweet something , give a little clue without giving too much away "Doing something big today, might reveal a secret or two". He quickly made the coffees and took them back up to bed before Phil woke up. Phil was just starting to sit up as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Dan didn't think he would get enough of seeing Phil wake in the morning, it was cute in a way. Phil smiled at the sight of the coffee and took it from Dan eagerly. They both sat silently as they drank and Phil placed the empty cups of the bedside table. He pulled Dan in close and Dan knew what Phil wanted.

Afterwards they lay there and knew that it was time, there was no point leaving it any longer and they were both sure it was the right thing to do. Phil got up on one elbow and looked at Dan and asked him,

"You ready to do this?"

Dan smiled in response and the two of them got dressed. Phil grabbed the camera whilst Dan set up in the living room. They both sat on the sofa and Dan looked at Phil,

"It's time. Be fearless together?"

Phil smiled and agreed,

"Together."

He leaned over and turned on the record button on the camera.


	6. Chapter 6 - Mean

Phan Fic-

Based on "Mean" By Taylor Swift.

"Together."

He leaned over and turned on the record button on the camera.

The video took a while to film, they had to get it just right. Phil checked the plans and scripts multiple times, he improvised several times too until they were happy with the video. They decided to upload it on his channel later that day, to make sure that people would have chance to see it and they wanted to reply to the comments. Dan went off to make lunch as Phil started to edit the video, it was going to take a while. After what felt like a thousand years, it was done and they watched it one more time to make sure they were happy with it. Phil had never felt prouder about a video, it felt right. It was time to start to uploading it. They both sent out the news of a new video through Twitter and once the video was uploaded, the waiting began.

Within minutes the views count started to rise as well as the likes and dislikes. The comments were just starting to come in and the first few were the usual "10th person to comment" and "I was here at 85 views" rather than comment on the content of the video. Then after a short while whilst they ate dinner, the real comments started to come in. They were all supportive at first, some people claimed to have won bets on the two of them getting together, people were glad that they had sorted their problems out. Inevitably there were the comments that weren't so nice. Phil tried to ignore them and watched as people disliked the comments and soon they were removed. he knew that it was always going to happen but that there is no way to prepare for them, he just had to focus on knowing that he had made the right choice for him and was happy with it.

Some of the comments did stick with him that night, especially one in particular. The person had commented several times, but their last one was the worst. He tried not to think about it, it was only a comment after all. The same person had commented in almost similar ways before and it felt like that person really disliked him, even hated him. It felt strange to be hated by someone that he had never met. He sat that wondering why people had to be so mean to one another. If two people were happy together it shouldn't matter if they were two men rather than a man and a woman. The more he thought about it, every little word felt like a tiny knifes that person was using against him. Sometimes he felt like he was nothing and had to remember that there were people out there who cared. It reminded him of when he was younger.

There had been boys there who hated him for no apparent reason. He was a happy child and for someone reason that made them hate him more. Phil had wondered what had made them so cold and unfeeling and as he got older he realised someone had probably picked on them and pushed them around. They used to pick out his flaws and try to humiliate him for it but he ignored them. He knew that right now they were probably sat in some bar, watching a football game whilst trying to find money for their next drink, ranting in the same old bitter way. He remembered thinking how they were just being mean and pathetic and that one day he was going to be big enough so that they couldn't knock him down anymore and one day he was going to move to some big city whilst they would be left behind, alone in life and mean.

So after thinking about all that Phil just turned off the laptop and ignored the comments. He could deal with it, he had to for his and Dan's sakes. He knew he was happy and it was pointless to waste time on mean comments they always came along no matter what, he had to be better than them. He was going to end this cycle right now, he was going to focus on what made him happy .So he turned on the game they had been playing, they had managed to get almost halfway through and he wanted to play some more before bed. Dan came in with snacks to join him and they played the game until the early hours of the next morning. They sloped off to bed afterwards and curled up together to sleep and Phil let all the mean comments fly out of his head and was just happy to be next to Dan.

The next day was more hectic in the comments section on the video as well as everywhere else. His Twitter mentions had almost exploded with support and as he had done with the comments, he removed the really negative ones. He laughed at some of the tweets, people had taken old pictures of them and said that they knew Phan was going to happen. He spent the day checking through the replies on all his websites and Dan did more or less the same. Everything seemed to be finally going okay for the two of them until later that had just finished dinner and were in the living room, settled down for the night. Phil was playing the game again whilst Dan sat with his phone so it was relatively quiet. Phil looked over at Dan who seemed to be absorbed into whatever he was reading. Phil went back to playing the game and only stopped when Dan suddenly made a frustrated noise. Phil looked at him and asked him what was wrong. Dan read to him a comment that he had found on the video. Phil told him just to ignore but Dan was starting to get worked up over the comment and his voice start to raise slowly as he became more angry. Phil stopped the game and tried to get him to calm down which only made it worse. Dan lost it for a moment and ended up throwing his phone across the room at Phil. It just missed Phil and landed on the cushion next to him. Phil just got up and left the room, there was no point talking to to Dan when he was like this and took his laptop with him upstairs. Phil stayed in his own room that night and Dan didn't come in to see him at all.

The next morning, Phil woke up to the sound of Dan knocking lightly on his door, asking if Phil was awake. When he replied that he was, Dan came in with two cups of tea and gave one to Phil. He climbed into bed next to Phil and Phil waited for him to say something. He heard Dan take a breath before starting to talk,

"We need to talk about last night."


	7. Chapter 7 - Stay Stay Stay

Phan Fic-

Based on "Stay Stay Stay" By Taylor Swift

"We should talk about last night."

Dan knew that he needed to talk to Phil. He had to say sorry and he didn't want to lose Phil again. That's how he had felt last night, that he was about to lose him again. The comment had thrown him, he thought he was used to receiving messages like that but it had hit him hard and somehow it had made him mad. Really mad. He was shocked at himself for throwing the phone at Phil, he didn't know why he had done it, it had felt good he guessed to feel like he could throw the comment away from hit. He had aimed for Phil because he had tried to calm him down and as he did start start to calm down he knew it was wrong. He went to bed on his own that night because he wasn't sure if Phil wanted him, he hadn't come out of his room at all and Dan went to bed knowing that he would have to do something this time. He wasn't going to leave like he had the last time, if it was going to work then they would have to talk. He remembered reading somewhere that you should never leave a fight unresolved so he knew what he was going to do in the morning.

So in the morning Dan decided that he was going to talk to Phil. First he went downstairs to make tea first, a peace offering to show that he wasn't going to throw something at him again. Quickly he made the drink and carried it upstairs to Phil's room. He managed somehow to knock on the door without spilling the drinks. He hoped Phil would let him in, he didn't know what to do with the other cup of tea otherwise. Phil said that he could and Dan felt relieved for a moment. He had been worried about what Phil might do when he saw him again. He had every right to be angry and ask to be left alone but surprisingly he seemed calm. So Dan took a deep breath and crossed the room to hand Phil his cup. They both sat there with the tea and once Dan was finished he plucked up the courage to say what he wanted to say, what he needed to say,

"We should talk about last night."

Phil looked at him, took his hand and said ,

"Okay, let's talk."

Dan thought for a moment about what he was going to say and somehow he found the right words.

"I'm sorry that I got mad and I shouldn't have thrown my phone at you. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have let the comment get to me and I'm sorry."

He looked at Phil for a reply and Phil just smiled when he said,

"I know your sorry and it's okay, we all get mad at times, just don't take it out on me."

Dan felt relief fill him again and he put his arms around Phil, he'd missed him. He was immensely glad that Phil had forgiven him, he didn't know what he would have done if he hadn't. They sat there for a moment before Phil spoke, he started to laugh slightly as he said,

"Besides, I think it's funny when you get mad, you pull some great faces."

Dan pretended to look hurt for a moment and Phil looked like he believed him before Dan broke into a smile and kissed him again.

They got up a short while later and went down for breakfast. The delivery from Tesco was due that day and Dan went to collect it. Phil waited at the top of the stairs for Dan and when Dan felt one of the heavier bags slip, Phil caught it and carried it for him and helped him carry a few more. Phil pretended to be a strong super hero whilst carrying them and Dan found himself laughing at him before playing along. Phil was one of the best people he had ever dated, the others had often been self indulgent takers who had taken their problems out on him like he had the night before with Phil but he swore to himself that he would never do it again. Phil was different, it almost felt like Dan had no choice but to love him, he was adorable, you couldn't not love Phil.

They spent the day finishing the game and checking the internet, a normal day for them. As they lay in bed that night, Dan thought more about Phil. Phil knew him better than anyone else, he had taken his time to memorise all of Dan's hopes, dreams and fears and Dan knew Phil better than anyone else. He just liked hanging out with Phil all the time, sometimes it felt like there wasn't enough time for them. Dan felt like no one else would love him when he got mad like Phil did and he felt it would be best if they both stayed together. He'd loved Phil for quite some time and did not want to let him go, he wanted to hang out with Phil for his whole life. When Phil woke up he said to him what he thought Phil replied with,

"I want to stay too. I've been loving you for quite some time, a long time, I just didn't know what to say. I wouldn't mind hanging out with you for my whole life either."


	8. Chapter 8 - Everything Has Changed

Phan Fic-

Based on "Everything Has Changed" by Taylor Swift & Ed Sheeran

"I want to stay too. I've been loving you for quite some time, a long time, I just didn't know what to say. I wouldn't mind hanging out with you for my whole life either."

They got up a while later, they had to plan for the radio show that weekend. Phil went downstairs to make breakfast and left Dan alone to get dressed. He felt happy as he cooked, whistling as he took out the food from the cupboards. He spent his few minutes alone thinking. He thought about the past year or so. How everything has changed. How it kept changing. How he had met Dan, how all they had said was "Hello" and everything changed from that point on. Becoming best friends and living together, going on holiday together. That first kiss had changed everything and when he woke up the next day he remembered thinking how it had changed everything within 18 hours, he kept thinking about it, he saw Dan's smile and eyes, how they had changed. He remembered thinking how the previous summer had changed everything. It had been so good, even in the bad times he had felt good and he felt the way he felt changed, how he saw life changed. Then last winter, saying goodbye had been the worst change yet without it Phil felt like he wouldn't be where he was now, he felt like he wouldn't have known that he couldn't have lived without Dan. Then those lonely months, changed everything again until Phil realised that he had to change everything himself and talk to Dan and he was so glad that he did.

The past week, Phil could barely believe how little time had gone by since making up with Dan, had changed everything again. That first night back together, telling everyone, settling into a life together . Every day felt different, new promises made , new futures to plan. He knew that he would always be Dan's and Dan would always be his. It felt simple to Phil when it came to Dan now, a simple name was all he knew with simple feelings that he could finally describe. All the walls that he had built inside of him through the years, he had taken down and built a door to let Dan through and Phil felt like Dan had done the same for him. He felt like he didn't have anything to hide when it came to Dan, it was that simple. He just wanted to know more about him, even though he know more about him than anyone else, he'd always wanted to know Dan better and Phil wanted Dan to know him better too.

When he heard Dan coming down the stairs, he felt like there were still tiny butterflies in his stomach, he didn't know why he felt nervous. He had strangely always felt like this whilst waiting for Dan, even in the beginning but they were the beautiful kind because he knew that when Dan arrived, one look in his eyes felt like coming home and Phil felt the butterflies fly away. He also felt when Dan wasn't around that he felt like he missed him even when he was only in another room and Phil wondered if it was some part of his mind thinking back to those lonely months, thinking that he was alone once more. He pushed the thought out of his head and instead suprised Dan with a kiss before handing him coffee. They sat down to breakfast and Phil asked Dan more questions, thinking more about how he wanted to know more about Dan. They both started up their laptops and Phil thought about what they had said the previous night about spending a long time together and as Phil looked at Dan's face he knew that he would know it for all his days. When he held the door open for Phil, when they were in bed together at night, when they were on the radio. He could never forget Dan no matter what happened.

They started planning the radio show and after a few hours they were close to finishing. They decided to take a break by going into town for a bit. They needed to do some non food related shopping , they both needed some new clothes and other essentials. They wanted get some new outfits for the next day, they had been invited to a friend's party and they decided they may as well buy something new for it as well as ordinary clothes. When they left the house, rain poured down in front of them as they moved towards the car. Since we got back together, Phil thought, all I've known is pouring rain. He strangely found himself smiling at that and wondered if the rain was bringing them together. They were within the town centre after a short drive and they hurriedly made their way to the local shopping centre. They wandered between shops for a while before they started to find clothes. Phil bought several t shirts and jeans whilst Dan spent over half an hour choosing between two pairs of shoes. Phil was looking through one rack of t shirts when Dan pointed to a sign in the shop advertising a party in the summer on a beach somewhere. He smiled at Phil when he said,

"Remember that party we went to that summer?"


	9. Chapter 9 - Starlight

Phan Fic-

Based on "Starlight" By Taylor Swift,

"Remember that party we went to that summer?"

Dan watched Phil think for a moment about what he had said, confusion registering on his face before he remembered, breaking into a smile as he said,

"The first one?"

Dan smiled as he remembered their first party together, the summer that they met. Phil had been asked to a party someone from University was holding and asked Dan if he wanted to come. It was being held by some girl whose father was rich and silly enough to lend his yacht for his daughter's party that was likely to be wrecked within the first 10 minutes. Dan remembered Phil picking him up, he had had to creep out to not wake every else out and he had a fuzzy memory of climbing out a window to leave. It was late when they arrive, noises blaring from the boat on the marina where the party was being held which was covered in ropes of sparkling lights. There were several boardwalks leading to the boats, the largest belonging to the boat they would be going on. In all of Dan's 17 years, he had never seen a party like that one. It was filled with rich people, some of the dressed to the nines yet some of the others were dressed in everyday clothes. There was the expensive, elegant decor of the large boat by the bottles contrasting strongly with bottles of WKD and remains of plastic cups .There were shots of champagne and cheap vodka being passed around. The music changed from popular dance tracks to some more distorted sounds that were jumbled together to make some sort of song. Dan couldn't what song was playing when they walked in, though it felt more like sneaking in , he felt like he wasn't like people there. He felt like he and Phil were pretending to be a Duke and a Prince in a wealthy person's party.

They tried some of the drinks and Dan remembered the first one made him feel like he was coughing up his lungs, the taste of some likely to be expensive, 100 year old French wine combined with some liquid that on it's own could probably blind someone. Yet the people around him drank it like it was Coke and Dan wondered what other strange things he was going to be offered. Whilst Phil went off to use the toilets, Dan ended up talking to some of the people. A couple of them were like him, they didn't fit into the strange world of the wealthy but he ended up being followed by some of the richer girls who radiated the smell of alcohol and expensive perfumes. Relief washed over him when he saw Phil return and excused himself to go to him. He wondered if his bewilderment of what was going on was showing on his face when Phil said to him,

"I didn't think it was going to be like this either. However we may as well enjoy ourselves, here ," Phil handed Dan a glass of what looked like wine , "I found a box of bottles of wine that hadn't been touched yet. Drink it up, then we'll dance for a bit and then go for a walk or something." He dragged Dan onto the dance floor.

They joined everyone else on the "dance floor" which was just the empty space on the deck of the boat. There was a large sound system in front of it and as well as the fairy lights that had been strung around the railings of the boat, someone had added lights that would have been more appropriate in a dance club than a boat. They dance for a while to the strange music pulsing through the speakers and Dan remembered how they had moved, he wouldn't forget some of the dances they had done. The two of them danced below the starlight and whatever Phil had given him to drink made Dan feel as if he was made of starlight, he felt so strangely happy. After one last song as the party started to get too rowdy, they decided to go wander round the marina, taking another bottle with them.

They walked along the boardwalks, talking as they went about their lives. The sounds of the boat could be heard faintly from the furthest boardwalk and when a decent song came on Dan remembered saying ,

"Oh my, what a marvelous tune."

Phil smiled and the two of them carried on walking, there was only the light of the moon by then, the only sound were the waves of the ocean hitting the posts of each boardwalk. They stopped at the end of the walkway and Phil bent down to retrieve some small rocks that had been flung up by the ocean onto the wood. Dan watched him try to skip them across the water and tried to do it himself a couple of times. He remembered how they both failed after a few more attempts and instead they sat on the edge of the boardwalk. They hung their legs over the edge, the ocean a few inches from their feet. They started to talk about the future, Phil asked Dan about what he wanted to do and Dan still wasn't sure, he was worried about what he had done earlier on in his life and wondered if they were going to affect what he could do later on. Phil smiled at him as he tried to skip another rock and said,

"Look at you worrying so much about things you can't change. You'll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way,"

Dan was glad that he had met Phil and thought for a while about what he had said. He took Phil's advice and planned to stop worrying, Phil was right. There were things he couldn't change and wasn't going to waste anymore time worrying about them. Instead he decided to talk about the future again with Phil. He asked him what he wanted to do and Phil didn't know what he wanted to do yet. He took a drink from the bottle and said what seemed like a joking way at the time,

"We could get married."

Dan played along, at the time thinking that Phil was talking crazy but later on he wondered if Phil had been joking, he replied,

"We'll have ten kids too."

Phil smiled back, looking at the sky as he said,

"And teach them how to dream."

Phil then looked up at the sky and asked Dan,

"Don't you see the starlight? Don't you dream impossible dreams?"

At the time Dan wondered if the drink had been affecting Phil and walked him home after that. Before they left he looked up at the sky and it was the first time he had really noticed the stars all night. He had assumed they were there but hadn't paid attention until Phil pointed it out. He really had only just started to properly see things since he had met Phil, the world looked different when he looked at it from Phil's perspective. In some ways it felt like the best night he had ever had. They had been to other parties but that one was still the best, it had been different. He had seen Phil in a different way and Dan found himself liking it.

Dan watched Phil think about the memory too and when he was done he replied with a smile and ,

"I think your 22nd birthday was pretty good too."


	10. Chapter 10 - 22

Phan Fic -

Based on "22" by Taylor Swift

"I think your 22nd birthday was pretty good too."

Phil could remember Dan's 22nd birthday party. It had been one of the ways that he had tried to make it up to him for forgetting his birthday, helping him organise a party. Phil knew that Dan had wanted some sort of party but hadn't been sure what to do. So Phil helped him organise as much as could from the people to invite to the food they would have to what they would wear. In the end it turned out okay and when they started to greet their first guests, Phil felt relieved for himself and Dan that it had come together. The apartment was clean and dressed for a party, it was filled with balloons and streamers. They had turned the main lights down and used some fairy lights to light the rooms so it wasn't too dark. They had set the food up in the kitchen along with drinks and the music playlists were set up to play in a few minutes. Within half an hour everyone had arrived and Phil started to mingle amongst the guests, talking to people that he hadn't seen for a while and just generally enjoyed himself. Dan seemed to be having a good time too and Phil made sure that he didn't leave him again. There was a theme to the clothes, everyone had to dress like hipsters and some people decided to reflect this with their dancing which resulted in several snorts of laughter from Dan. Phil remembered talking to him later as they drunk some vodka that someone had brought with them, their conversations became stranger with every drink and they sat for over half an hour making fun of their exes and pretending to fall in love with strangers they had seen.

It was a great night, even thought they had to plan the radio the next day, they just forgot about the deadlines and enjoyed themselves. Dan kept to Phil's side for a lot of the night and whilst they were dancing together he whispered into Phil's ear,

"Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you."

For the cake, Phil had gotten a normal chocolate cake and covered it entirely in Malteaser, they covered the outside of the cake and lined the base of the cake. It had taken a lot of icing to keep them in place and when one of them fell of the piece Dan started to eat, he chased it as it rolled along the floor, determined not to let another mouse have his Malteasers. They ate most of the cake before 11pm and by midnight a half drunk Dan tried to make pancakes for breakfast before being stopped by Phil who was slightly less intoxicated but enough that the room looked a little strange. After the attempt of cooking, the two of them stopped drinking the alcohol and stuck to lemonade for a while. They danced with their friends for a while and Phil felt happy and free, not having to think about the world outside for a while. As he watched Dan dance with some girl, Phil felt strangely lonely and confused as to why Dan wasn't dancing with him and wondered if it was only just the alcohol making him feel like that. But the girl stopped, wanting a break and Dan smiled before joining Phil. He leaned over to Phil and whispered into his ear over the music,

"How about we ditch the whole scene? Its too crowded in here, too many," Dan winked , looking at one of their friends falling over in a drunken stupor, "cool kids."

Phil, still feeling some of the leftover emotions from the drink, felt himself smile and followed Dan upstairs. They went upstairs to Phil's room and sat down on Phil's bed. They started to talk about the party and planned to start getting the people to leave, it was almost 3am and they both were starting to feel tired. In between the talk about party Phil felt as if he was dreaming, he started to think about Dan in that way again. Ever since their first kiss a few months ago, he thought about Dan differently and this felt like one of those nights. Dan looked different when he was drunk, he was acted even more carefree and younger than before, he didn't seem 22, and yet Phil found himself liking it. They both got up off the bed and Phil felt the sudden urge to kiss him and in the next second he found himself pressing his lips against Dan's. They pulled away when they heard a loud bang from downstairs and they knew that they would have to get rid off the guests then. They went downstairs smiling, declaring that it was time for good night. Slowly their friends left, hugs were given and promises to call. By 4 am they were on their own, surrounded by the remains of the fun surrounding them. The music was still on in the living room, "22" playing and as Dan went to turn it off, Phil heard him singing the line to himself,

"I don't know about you but I'm feeling 22."

The two of them went off to their own beds and as Phil fell asleep he found part of him wishing that he was fall asleep in Dan's instead.

It had been a momentarily miserable but wholly magical night overall and it was one of Phil's best memories. He looked through the photos the next day, some of them he had not known were being taken and as flicked through them he looked, happy, free, confused and lonely in the best way. As they stood in the shop Phil knew that if the party they were going to had been anything like that then it would be a good night. He watched Dan lift up a leather jacket and pulling some bad boy poses to go with the jacket. Phil just laughed and whispered to Dan, taking his hand,

"You look like bad news I gotta have you, I gotta have you."

He kissed Dan's cheek and the two of them carried on shopping. They found everything that they needed just in time, as the shops started to shut and on the tube ride home Phil found himself thinking about the party again. At that party they had barely become a couple, a few kisses did not seem somehow to equate to a relationship at that point. Now it was different, they had gone further and now Phil felt that he loved Dan more strongly than he had before.

When they got home they had a late dinner and both of them sat down to plan their next videos. They spent a few hours planning before sloping off to bed. Even though he felt tired, when Dan moved towards the top of his trousers, Phil knew he could keep awake for that, he wanted to. When they were finished they fell asleep just as it started to rain again.

The next morning Phil woke up to Dan offering coffee. Phil was suprised to see that he was fully dressed, he usually would only just about awake by then. Phil took the coffee and Dan quickly downed the rest of his before explaining,

"Radio 1 wants to see me about something this morning. Don't worry, it's probably nothing bad, I hope," He winked, "I'll be back soon."

He gave Phil a quick kiss, grabbed his bag and was out the door when Phil realised that he had not said to Dan that he loved him before he left.


	11. Chapter 11 - Superman

Phan Fic-

Based on "Superman" by Taylor Swift,

He gave Phil a quick kiss, grabbed his bag and was out the door when Phil realised that he had not said to Dan that he loved him before he left.

Phil wondered to himself how many times since they had gotten back together ,or even before that, that he had said "I love you". Phil was shocked to find that it was because he forgot to, he should remember to. What if there was a time when he didn't say it and it was his last chance to? Sometimes he knew that it was because he didn't have to say it but as he got out of bed he knew that he should say it anyway. Phil found himself already missing Dan and part of him wondered if Dan knew how much he missed him, or if he missed Phil. Phil shook away the thoughts as washed the shampoo out of his hair, letting all the doubt wash away with the bubbles.

Deciding that whilst he had some time to himself, he decided to go film his video. He found himself constantly distracted though, looking out the window to see if Dan was coming back and he had to force himself back to what he was doing. Every time he mentioned Dan's name in a video he kept thinking about him. Tall, dark Dan with his deep brown eyes that told Phil that he loved him. Phil knew that no matter where Dan was, if he was going out for milk or saving the world, that Phil would wait for him so he went back to his video, knowing that Dan would be back soon.

Eventually he finished the video and was in the middle of editing it when Dan came back. He seemed lost in thought for a moment before seeing Phil, his face was almost unreadable. Phil didn't know whether to be worried or not until Dan smiled and said,

"How are you?"

Phil felt oddly relieved and replied,

"Just fine."

Dan went off into the kitchen and came back with a can of Coke. He sat down in the chair opposite Phil and when he didn't talk for several minutes, Phil turned the laptop off and talk to him,

"Did everything go alright?"

Dan ran his finger round the edge of the can, thinking of an answer. Several moments later he finally spoke,

"The radio, they want me to...do something for them. They want me to go cover some event in Scotland, some music thing."

Phil took in what he said and wasn't sure how to answer,

"So what is it they want you to do exactly?"

Dan was still looking at his can when he replied,

"Talk to some of the people there, people in the crowds, the musicians, that sort of thing."

He took a drink from his glass, thinking of what to say next and eventually decided on,

"It's next week, I go next Friday until Sunday morning, back in time for our normal radio show. They only needed one of us to go, they said. They have something planned for you to do that weekend, said they'd tell you this weekend."

Phil processed slowly what Dan had said. They would be separated for a few days. It wouldn't be that bad, they had done it before for even longer periods of time but still, they had only just gotten back together. Part of Phil hoped that Dan wouldn't go to this thing, see some girl and change his mind, forgetting about Phil. Phil pushed those thoughts out of his head and instead got up and sat on Dan's lap, putting his arms and round him and kissed him. He knew that as he had thought earlier that he would wait for Dan because he knew that he would come back, he'd go off and be superman and would come back to Phil. Phil knew he would wait because he had loved Dan from the very first day, thought he way he had loved him had changed, it was still strong. Phil knew that he would be okay as long as Dan came home and he would be on the ground waiting for his superman to come back down to the ground . Afterwards he looked into those brown eyes and said,

"It'll be okay because I love you."

Dan smiled and said

"I love you too."


	12. Chapter 12 - Crazier

Phan Fic-

Based on "Crazier" by Taylor Swift,

"I love you too."

Dan was glad that he had said yes to the offer, it would be a good opportunity for him, a chance to try something on his own. Though a part of him didn't want to do it without Phil, it was just nerves , he thought. Like when Phil hadn't been there that time for the radio show. He also didn't want to go as he would miss Phil, he hadn't even gone yet and he could already see it. He would be at the other end of the country, Phil at the other. At least they were still on the same continent this time. He contented himself with that knowledge and so he decided to make the most of the time together before he went.

He still had to prepare for what he was supposed to be doing whilst he was there, meaning that he often had to go into one part of Radio 1 whilst Phil went to the other, taking away some of their time together which they made up for at night. In between planning for the normal radio show, live shows and filming for videos, they spent time together. Playing games, watching television, eating out some nights. They went back to their spot by the Thames the last night, Dan remembered Phil managing somehow to lift Dan up at one point and spin him around once, his feet actually of the ground for several seconds before they fell to the floor. There was so much more to life that Dan hadn't seen before meeting Phil and he enjoyed every second they had together. It rained again on the way home and the night reminded Dan of when they had gotten back together again, only they knew the next morning that they would be apart again.

In the morning, Dan got up early and made sure he had everything ready for the weekend, checking his suitcase and train tickets several times. Phil was still asleep as Dan ate his breakfast and he didn't have the heart to wake him up, he looked so peaceful when he slept. Alternating between glancing at the clock and actually eating his breakfast he pondered the weekend ahead. He would be on the train for at least 4 hours and then have about hour they had told him to get settled into the hotel before going out. He wouldn't get back to the hotel until late and then the next day he would leave the hotel at about 8 in the morning and wouldn't again be back till late and probably even later than the night before. Then on Sunday morning he would be catching the train home and he could see Phil again.

Just as he was placing the plates into the sink, Phil walked in, wiping sleep from his eyes as he went to the kettle. Once he had set it to boil, he took Dan by suprise and threw his arms around his waist and kissed him. The click of the kettle finishing pulled them apart and when Dan looked into Phil's eyes he felt like he was falling, lost almost in them. Phil smiled and went back to making his drink as Dan went to bring his case down. A taxi would arrive for him within ten minutes and that was just long enough for him and Phil to have a proper goodbye. They held onto each other tightly when it was time for Dan to go. There was time for one last kiss and hug before Dan had to walk out the door and climb into the taxi to the train station. He waved to Phil from the backseat as the taxi pulled away and he watched Phil wave back and blow a kiss before the taxi turned round the corner.

He had 10 minutes to wait on the platform before his train pulled in and he used his time to tweet and text Phil one more time, his phone worked poorly on those trains so he would have to wait until he could use his laptop to communicate again. It was a long train ride and whilst he listened to music and ate his big bag of Malteasers , he found himself thinking. He thought about how much everything had changed and in his head it felt like a movie was playing as he thought over the past few years. He had felt before he met Phil almost like he was a bird that couldn't its wings, he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life and he felt stuck. Then Phil came along and changed everything, he knew what he wanted to do and he could see a future that he was finally happy with. He remembered when he was younger watching Phil's videos, watching him make life his own and Dan felt like that's what Phil had helped him to do, he'd shown him what living is for. Phil had opened his eyes to the world and made him believe that there was good in it.

After a long time the train pulled into the station and Dan grabbed his case from amongst the others and got ready to leave. There was a car waiting for him and he settled into the back seat as he was taken to the hotel. He was finally able to use his phone after hours and had enough time to send Phil a text saying that he had arrived. Once he arrived at the hotel, he unpacked a few items, grabbed a quick shower and had less than twenty minutes to start up his laptop and check Twitter before being called by the Radio saying that a car was on its way. He sent one more text to Phil and left the room with everything he would need, preparing himself for the rest of the day.

Later that night he finally got back to the hotel room. He was feeling tired and wanted to go to sleep so he crawled into bed. However after lying there for over an hour, unable to sleep at all, he realised that it was because he missed Phil. He kept thinking about him, his eyes, the way he laughed, the way they curled up together at night. Even though he had had a fun few hours, it had been a great experience so far, he still missed Phil. Some part of his felt like he was going crazier every second that he was away, crazy with missing Phil. It had been strange without him and Dan missed him a lot. Calling Phil became a sudden priority and even though it was even later that night, he had to call him and just hoped that he hadn't woken him. He wondered as he called Phil, if Phil was missing him. Phil answered and had only just gone to bed too. He had been struggling to sleep to and talking to Phil, started to make Dan feel less crazy, he felt like Phil was with him in the hotel room. It was almost 4 in the morning when they were both too tired talk anymore, they both had to be up in the morning. The time came for them to say goodbye,

"Night Phil , I love you and I miss you."

Dan smiled when he heard Phil's reply and it helped him to sleep that night, keeping away the crazy thoughts of being alone,

"Night Dan, I love and miss you a lot too."


	13. Chapter 13 - Long Live

Phan Fic-

Based on "Long Live" by Taylor Swift

"Night Dan, I love and miss you a lot too."

Phil hung up the phone and placed it on his bedside table. He rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling and started to think. He had been busy all day with barely a moment to himself, though it had kept away the loneliness. As he drifted of to sleep he started to think about the past few years. They had been some of the best he had ever had .His memories flowed from meeting Dan, how it had almost been fate in a way and he was so glad that he had. How they became friends and he remembered being in bed at the start of 2010 , thinking about the end of the decade, how he had gained a new best friend. He wondered what the next one would be like for him and he did not know that it would be the start of an age, one of the best of his life. Then starting the radio show, he remembered how they had stood there with shaking hands, waiting for their names to be read off a card, announcing their first radio show being about to start. They watched the people going crazy on the internet and he couldn't believe how much they liked it. He knew from that moment more than ever that their lives would never be the same. It still shocked him when the crowds went wild for him at events like Playlist Live and the like, he wondered if it felt like what Kings and Queens must feel like. He remembered the normal things that he and Dan had done over the past few years, when they were just two friends ,fighting dragons on games and pretending to have magical powers, laughing at each others jokes, even the awful ones.

When Phil woke up he found himself scrolling through pictures of him and Dan from the past few years, remembering each and every feeling from each picture, trying to remember each moment as fully as he could. He looked at the earlier ones and remembered wishing for the life had he now. He looked at the most recent pictures they had taken from before Dan left. They were adorable and made Phil miss Dan more. He put his phone down and resigned himself to making breakfast alone, he needed to eat as he had a busy day himself. After he was done he spent an hour making his new video before hopping into the shower. He had to leave within an hour and hurriedly he dressed himself and sent a text to Dan before heading out.

Phil returned home late that night and ended up with a quick microwaved meal for his dinner. He flicked through the television channels for several minutes. It was until he was taken over by a large yawn that he realised how tired he was. A glance at the clock told him that it was almost 1 am and he realised happily that Dan would be home that day. As he climbed into bed he found himself thinking again. He thought about when both of their 1 million subscribers awards arrived at the same time, they took silly pictures of themselves holding them, lifting them like trophies. He remembered how the cynics were outraged at them earning what they had, commenting that it was absurd but Phil just ignored them, he knew that he had worked hard for every subscriber. He remembered the happier memories they had built up the past few weeks, he held onto memories of spinning around, watching London light up like a it was their own kingdom, the lights shining just for the two of them. Kissing in the rain and nights when they made each other their own. The only downside of reliving the memories was that he ended up wanting Dan more and he found himself calling him. After a few rings Dan answered, he had only just gotten back to his hotel room and sounded excited to be coming home. Phil listened as Dan told him what a great time he'd had and asked what Phil had been doing. They talked for a while and a few times Phil just let Dan talk about random things just so he could hear Dan's voice. They eventually said good bye to each other and Phil fell asleep replaying the conversation.

When he woke up, he felt almost excited as if was like Christmas all over again. Dan was coming home within a few hours and Phil wanted to make sure everything was just right for when he came back. Phil was going to meet him at the train station and he made sure that he had enough money for the taxi home. The minutes dragged along and Phil distracted himself by cleaning the littlest things and took as long as he could in the shower. He waited the rest of the time and when it was time to go, he found himself actually jumping out of his seat, he was that excited. In the taxi ride there, he wondered to himself what would happen if Dan left him any longer than a few nights, he would be some sort of wreck, he imagined. he had been lucky that Radio 1 had wanted him to do something. He would have gone crazy otherwise especially if he didn't have YouTube videos to make. Soon enough they arrived at London Euston and he paid the taxi driver. Phil wandered into the station and bought himself coffee whilst he waited. There was 10 minutes until Dan's train was due and Phil wandered up and down the station as he waited. Eventually the tannoy announced that the train had arrived and Phil moved to wait by the entrance. He scanned the crowds coming through the doors, checking each face for Dan's. Dan was one of the last of the train and Phil spotted him he waved him over. Dan hurried over and Phil threw his arms around him. The two of them walked hand in hand out of the station, talking rapidly as they went, making up for lost time, smiling at each other as they joked.

Many years later ...

"Grandpa, where's Grandad?" A young boy shouted from the other end of the garden.

Phil smiled and replied,

"He's in the house somewhere I think, see if you can go find him."

Once his grandson was safely out of ear shot, running determinedly into the house, his grandad did appear, emerging form his hiding place by the shed. Phil knew that Dan had been hiding from their grandson for a while now. They were in the middle of hide and seek and Dan had been winning all day, he was still a bad winner and this made his grandson even more determined than ever to find him. Dan moved from the shade of the shed and Phil could finally see him in the summer light. He looked the same to Phil as he had when they had first met all those years ago. Even though grey coloured his hair and he had developed lines over his face from age, he was still the same Dan that Phil had fallen in love with. Phil took Dan's hand whispered into his ear,

"I know where we can go."

Dan smiled in response, Phil knew that Dan knew where he meant. On the way out he shouted to the two grandchildren that he and Grandad would be back soon and that their mother would look after them. As much as he loved to spend time with his grandchildren he wanted to spend a little time with Dan on his own. They climbed into the car and drove for a while, talking as they went. They arrived at their spot by the Thames. Even though the two of them had changed and aged, their little spot was still the same to them. They leaned over the wall, looking at the reflection of the city floating along the water. Phil remembered all the times they had come here before. Before and after they had broken up what felt like a life time ago. When they had been about to tell everyone about the two of them getting together. One of Phil's favourite had been the summer of the year he had turned 30. The two of them had been out for another meal and gone for a walk by the Thames, it had become a ritual almost for the two of them to go there when they were about to do something big. Phil had made them go that night because he had already planned what he wanted to do. It had taken him a while but he was finally sure that it was the right thing to do. He was excited and nervous at the same time, his heart racing as he got ready to say it. They were talking about the past again and they ended up talking about their time apart. Dan spoke about how alone he had felt and Phil knew that it was the right time,

"Dan, I don't want to you to ever feel alone again, I want to stand by with you forever so you'll never be. I love you and that's all I've ever known and will ever know. You are the best thing that has ever been mine and I would like you to be mine even more. Will you marry me?"

Dan smiled and Phil knew that was his way of saying yes. Phil remembered how excited he had been telling everyone and how time had managed to fly as it was time for the wedding before he knew it. He remembered them both making the promises of standing by each other forever, the moment making Phil feel happier than ever before . He remembered the two of them walking out after the ceremony, the confetti falling to the ground, the two of them spinning around at the reception. The years that followed were miserable and magical at times. They moved into a new house and carried on with what they had been doing before. They had a few arguments like every couple and made up every single time, they took ridiculous pictures of themselves together and still played videogames like they always had. The time came when they both wanted a child and they decided to use a surrogate mother. Phil remembered being given his child to hold for the first time, how he saw a tear fall from Dan's eyes and their baby's looked back up at them. They had a son and a daughter, they wanted one of each and Phil loved watching them both up. He tried to help them with their homework, helping with projects from school. He remembered watching Dan playing with the children, a game of knights and princesses, Phil joined in and the two of them pretended to knock down the castle walls of their children's imaginary castles. Then their children grew up and it came time for them to find their own lives. Phil remembered all of the girlfriends and boyfriends his children had brought home, the serious ones that lasted and those childhood relationships. Phil remembered Dan bringing them all up at both of his children's weddings and Phil remembered his daughter blushing like she had when she had found some of their old YouTube videos. Then time slowed down for a while and Phil found himself still making YouTube videos, he didn't want to stop yet and neither did Dan. After a few years the first grandchild came along and Phil loved the feeling of holding a small life again, it was comforting in a way, it reminded him of when his children had been born. Years later, there were several more of them and the house seemed to be full of people. It felt nice for Dan and Phil to take a break from all the noise and go back to somewhere only they knew.

As Phil looked back over the years and then looked at Dan he knew that he'd had the time of his life with Dan, he wouldn't change his mind if he could go back. Phil knew that he wanted to spend as long as he could with Dan and he just hoped that if he wasn't around anymore one day that when his grandchildren pointed to his face in the photo albums that Dan would tell them his name, how the crowds had gone wild for him and Grandad ,how Phil hoped they would shine. Phil thought long live to the walls the two of them had broken through to get to where they were, how much they had overcome through the years, the mountains they had moved. Phil thought long live to all the magic they had made, the way they had changed other people's lives for the better and their own. Phil thought long live to the look on Dan's face when he told him he loved him, how much hope there had been in his eyes. He'd had the time of his life fighting many different dragons with Dan and would carry on for as long they could, he was not afraid when he had Dan by his side and hoped that one day people they would be remembered still by people for all they had done.

The End


End file.
